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thoughts on motherhood

18055999_10209332270209273_872804052633651925_oI don’t think anything can prepare you for motherhood. You just have to dive right in. You figure out how you mother when you meet your child. And each child changes something in you. Every day when I look in their eyes, they require me to live in a greater way. Extending grace, patience, or mercy to them comes naturally. But they constantly challenge me to extend those same things to everyone else. That, dear friends,  is much harder! When you birth someone from your womb, they have different allowances. With a toddler, it isn’t so much about what you say, as it is about what you do. Their eyes are always on you and they are always learning. Always becoming the reflection of you that they are. They consume what they see us do and become it. Now I must say that my children are much sweeter than I am. (That is just a gift from God.) Either way, I have the responsibility to become a better human for everyone, not just for mom-sake.

Most days I’m not quite sure how life got to this point. My first Mother’s Day with two littles is days away and it feels so surreal how quickly time has flown.

(Am I that old person already? The one that you rolled your eyes at when you were young. Who would start sentences off with, “I remember it like it was yesterday..”) They are just getting SO big!!

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Josiah made me a Mother’s Day card. It made me so emotional to think about how this little human is becoming capable of so many things. He speaks sincerely from his heart and forces growth in me. I see myself in his tantrums, and I am challenged by his kindness. He so sweetly takes care of his sister and is always full of ‘I love you’s. He gives me kisses on my forehead and rubs my back if I’m not feeling well. I could not be more proud of who he is.

And Arabella. She is determined and anchored in her ways. She knows exactly what she wants and can communicate it without a word. She dramatically retreats into your arms with a desire to be cloaked in safety and love. She so longingly craves affection. She is crowned with grace and tenderness. I didn’t know the type of love that I have for her before her. She is helping me become who I have always been and never known.

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So we will celebrate all the mamas out there on Sunday. But I also celebrate the ones who made me a mother. I have been blessed with such incredible little ones.

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